Who Said Ageing Was A Bad Thing? Ah, Yes…Society!

I’ve been sat with this title for a while…

…not sure whether to write about it or not.

…not wanting to put my opinion out there.

…not convinced of my own experience.

But it won’t go away, so I’m doing this.

There is no judgement from me on whether you are pro or anti ageing…I just feel like it’s worth digging a little deeper into it, because we seem to carry an unconscious bias around ageing.

When I went through menopause, everything changed.  Not just the physical symptoms thrust upon my body over which it felt like I had little control.  But I also started to see the world through new eyes.

Suddenly I saw a society where everything was telling me to look younger, not to age.

I have no problem with grey hair now.  I probably found my first one years ago and after a few months of trying to pull them out, I started to just accept them.  But why did I even feel the need to remove those first ones?

That rejection of the signs of growing older was entrenched deep within me…and even though I wouldn’t return to my youth given the choice, I do feel that living 58 years in a society that promotes anti-ageing is not an easy thing to remove.

For a start there’s the constant adverts we’re bombarded with to look younger…“anti-ageing” products such as creams, serums, injectables, and procedures all marketed as a way to “turn back time”.  And using language like “defy age”, “erase wrinkles”, and “restore youthfulness” implies that ageing is a flaw to fix.  This is a whole industry built up to get us to look younger!

Then there’s the social media apps and filters that smooth skin, slim faces, and brighten eyes – defaulting to a younger appearance, and viral trends around “reverse ageing” routines or “how I stay looking 30 at 50” which reinforce the idea that youthful = better.

Even the language we ourselves use with phrases like “You don’t look your age!” or “You’ve aged well” are often intended as compliments but carry the hidden message that looking older is undesirable.  We’re celebrating women for how “young” they look rather than for how they feel or are.

Within the entertainment industry older women are often underrepresented or portrayed as irrelevant, bitter, or past their prime – unless they look exceptionally youthful, with leading roles in film and TV often going to younger women, while men are allowed to age more naturally on screen.  Although I do believe this is starting to change for the better from where it was 10, 20, 30 years ago.

Now I must just add here that buying into products and services to help you build strength as you transition into your later years is a completely different matter.  There’s no denying that if we don’t take care of our bodies, we’ll struggle more in older age as our bodies naturally start to decline and we want to live as full a life as possible for as long as possible.

So what is it about staying younger looking that’s pulls us in?

I mean deep down?

Beneath the surface?

What is it we’re afraid of?

Are we even afraid of anything?

Is it because we don’t want to age?

Because we don’t want to look older?

Because the older we are, the nearer we are to death?

And we don’t want to die, right?

Is that really why we don’t want to age?

Weirdly I have no fear of dying, so maybe that’s why I don’t mind the ageing process.

I know there’s a lot of psychology behind why people buy beauty products or have procedures to stay looking younger, so I’m not trivialising that in any way, but I am curious as to why modern society has found itself here.

Ageing is inevitable and in other societies it’s actually revered.  In the east, in countries like Japan, India and Korea, it’s deeply respected and the elderly are often sought out for their wisdom.

In the west the desire to stay young is so deeply rooted in our society.  And maybe this is just the way it is.  Or maybe we can start getting curious about how we really feel about ageing – not how we’re told to feel.

What if we didn’t tie our appearance to youth so much?

What if we started talking about ageing not as a problem to fix, but as a natural part of life?

What if we redefined ageing…because growing older isn’t a failure.  It’s living.  It’s learning. It’s evolving.

We can call it ‘sage’ing instead of ‘age’ing if you prefer, but actually there’s nothing wrong with ‘age’ing!

And remember…ageing is a human phenomenon, as the soul knows no age.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on ageing…are you happy to age, or does part of you still wrestle with what society says it should look like?

With love 💫

Caroline x

#menopause #ageing #sageing #society #women #youth #soul